Thursday, February 12, 2009

The List

Last night, I went out with an old friend who is never dull with stories and updates when it comes to the man she is currently seeing. Lets just name her Mina for the sake of this writing. She’s 30, gorgeous and a successful business training manager for a major telecommunication company. She has been seeing Jason (19 and still studying) for a while now. As a friend, katanye. She told me that apparently she gave an ultimatum to the guy because she was afraid that she might fall deeper and the guy would not reciprocate the way she hoped him to. I knew for a fact that was not the only reason but you see, they have been going for a while, started out as friend, then it slowly developed into more than that but no actual physical contact yet. Poor guy is very young and I assume he was so excited with this new found friend, Mina and supposedly play along with whatever Mina throw at him, unfortunately the only thing he wont play for now is her body. That’s beside the point. I get to thinking that this is such a classic situation, I can guarantee almost everyone of us went through this situation either as Mina or the poor supposed virgin boy, Jason. Mina is a big girl. You can say these and that to her, but in the end of the day deep down she knows what to do. All can I say to her that, as much as it is fun to have such companionship, I believe if you really looking for one, then find a real guy or girl who wants the same thing because we all deserved so much better. Hence, I called upon to share these thoughts with you. This list is just what I come up based on my very own experiences, (yes, I have learnt things the hard way people) and friends as well as people in general. Not meaning to judge but merely valuable information so that we are aware and prepare ourselves with what’s ahead of us.

5 GUYS YOU SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM.

1. Rebound guy. I was reading a similar article (where this entry is partly inspired from) on yahoo the other day and it was the first to be mentioned on the list of guys you should stay away from. I couldn’t agree more. Majority of the rebound guy just want to get laid, and chances are they are not fully recovered from the break-up. Thus, you will be compared to the ex’s and this sucks big time. It will be hard for you to get to his heart. He needs to be 100% sure that he’s over and ready to be in another relationship. Now if you really want to go out with the guy for the fact that this is your only chance for love, just tell him straight to his face, ‘you can only take me out on a date when you are really over with your ex. IM NOT A SUBSITUTE FOR YOUR LOST LOVE’ I deserve so much better.

2. Fisherman. Ha? Motif tak leh nak dating nelayan? Apart from the slight smell of dry fresh fish and sea water, theres absolutely nothing wrong with dating a fisherman. They make an honest living. However, this is not the kind of fisherman I’m talking about. A dear friend said once, fisherman refers to guys who like to fish for compliments. Our society values humility so much that sometimes, it gets annoying. When people give you a genuine compliment, you pay them back by saying ‘Thank you’.. Contoh ayat; “You look really good tonite’.. and you simply answer ‘ thank you, You not bad yourself’.. What I used to do and what I get to hear are mostly when I say..’you look good’ ..then they reply ‘nah, this is old stuff’ ..’takdelah, you lagi cantik’.. ‘seluar I ni beli kat zara je’ .. perlewke nak elaborate uols?! Jawab thank you sudahlah!. Susah sangat ke? The problem is that our society is becoming cynical and jaded. Its hard for one to accept compliment without thinking ‘why are they saying that’ or is there something wrong of what I wear today. Motif??!!. Paranoia. Negativy. Ignorance. Its an epidemic of mind. It’s a sign of weakness. I very much avoid this type of people. I don’t need gloom in life. No thank you. Gosh, there are more important matters than just physical attributes you know. Or maybe we do know. We cant just stop thinking with our dicks and bumhole. Oh well.. that’s too bad then.


3. Next, the Magistrates. Oh this one I really feel that I want to share with you guys. Im sure we are all very familiar with the infamous proverb, ‘don’t judge the book by its cover’. We even used that to defend ourselves in situation where we are ridiculed or offended by someone. Magistrates are not just conducting the courthouse, they also administer the law i.e. sentencing, hearings etc….. How many of you guys have had someone saying to you..’orang macam you ni mesti banyak scandal’ or ‘orang handsome macam you ni takkan takde boyfriend and my ultimate favourite, ‘orang handsome macam you nak ke keluar ngan macam I?.. ayo, geramz betul aku dgr ayat sebegini. Tak kira nih, belum apa apa dah jatuh hukuman. Kononnya nak cover diri sendiri lah, ease themselves into rejection. Say all the bad things about themselves first before the guy says it. Bloody insecure!. It’s shows how we devalue ourselves. Magistrates are best friends with the fishermen. They saying that so you could say back to them ‘alah, you lagi handsome’.Iim not going to give compliments for the sake of it, Hell no!. I just find it unattractive for people saying those to me when I ask them on a date. Clearly, if I ask you on a date, its because theres something about you that intrigues me and yes, perhaps because you are very attractive. Its such a turn off when you let yourself reduced to cultural cliche. Apa, orang handsome takleh ajak you keluar ke? That good looking guys are bad guys. Must i say, mind my flattering lashes, I break hearts as a hobby. Not all men are beautiful and cruel. Lagipun orang tu handsome ke tidak its not his doing, he didn’t ask to be born beautiful. . Nobody can guarantee that all good looking men are bastards.Ayo, kalau cam tu sampai bile pun tak dapat nak carik dek non hoi. All I can say is GOOD LUCK. Which brings me to another famous and cliché English proverb, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and my next point, the Swan.4 . The ugly duckling that blossom into a beautiful swan. Or in short, adek-adek baru nak naik. Im not here to teach you how to love. Grow up already. (I wrote a rather long entry then when i read back, I feel this is rather a preferential matter. No offense to anyone who likes younger guys though.)


5. Finally, the one and only, the Actor. No, not the song from Michael Learns to Rock, ayo korang ni so old school lah.. This one kind, the tip of the pyramid, the quintessential dramatic artist, you name it they have it. Best at making excuses, picking up a fight, sulking like theres no tomorrow, suicidal, cry crocodile tears and morphed into a green monster. Actors are filled with imagination and wide range of emotions. They get extreme at times even though you have perfect hearing they tend to shout at you to get your attention or regardless how many times you try to convince them with a truth they will manipulate those words to their advantages. Not to forget, the unnecessary quirks such as constant checking for your location, whether you have eaten your breakfast, lunch and dinner and whose accompanying you. You might say well, I care for this person and whats wrong with that? Aku sayang gila kat dia, sukati akulah! ,Oh the dramarama!!! Perhaps they want me to feel they been looked after. Sure, if you’re my mother that is. Even my mom doesn’t text me or call me every 5 minutes!! Please dont make excuse for others. I felt that guys whose falls into this category suffers from ADD. Maybe a mild one but still. Well, the word trust doesn’t just turned up in the dictionary for no reason babes. That’s like the foundation of any relationship. Without that you have nothing to support on. And if you have difficulty trusting anyone than ask yourself this question ‘why am I spending my time with you when I should be with someone I trust?, I deserve so much better.’ The aspects of an actor that I think would surely win them an award is when the appear differently the minute you show up with your peers. The whole split personality thing is one thing that irks me. Depan orang bukan main cintan mintan, pijak semut pakai heels pun tak mati, kat belakang you make freddy kruger looks like a baby. Why cant just you love yourself the way you are. If you cant love yourself how can you expect for other people to love you back. Its not cute babe. Now that’s ugly.

You see I have met all five characters in my life, gosh I even played those parts one way or another. I don’t like it. I want to be the first one to admit it. I want to be a better person, if I do want someone great than I have to be great too right? Thus im rectifying it, slowly accepting that its ok that if someone doesn’t love me back as much as I do them and that’s its ok for me leave him and move on. I’ll get over it. One really has nothing to loose over a rejection after a first date, a terrible partner or leaving unhappy situations. We just want to be happy. That’s why we have a relationship with one another. Never underestimate yourself when it comes to thing that you desire. Just remember that if you know in your heart that you are kind, warm, loving, charming and treat other people with the utmost respect and that you should know you deserve to be getting the same or even more. It might be a lonely wait but its worth it.

Coming soon, THE 5 GUYS YOU SHOULD BE WITH.