Tuesday, November 18, 2008

my thoughts exactly

It has not been a good week for me.. well more like weeks now. Some things didnt turn out the way it supposed to be and Im wondering whether I could be able to stay strong and hope for the best. I wont go into details but I reckon that it is necessary to make few changes in order to make things right. My close friends would know that Im not the type that 'plans'..  they hate that about me but i do understand that spontaneity can looses it charms too. My artistic self controls much more than my sensible self and I only would realize that later when I have to deal with the upshot. I do wonder would that make one a bad person? When guilt creeps in. Oh how I hate that feeling. People who have worked with me recognized and believed in what I'm passionate about and I supposed I want the ones who really loves me sees that too. Maybe they do, and thats the only reason why they want the best for me thus doing the things that I might not like for the being to save myself from more burden in the future. Aziz would tell me t0 grow up, which I supposed its true. The quintessential Dorian Grey and suffering from peter pan syndrome, floating and dreaming away in Never-Neverland. It took me years to discover myself, and  it will take just seconds that change that. Perhaps that is what scares me, that I'll become the exact person that I dont aspire to be. This place I'm at I know is just a transition space, that I'm in the lobby waiting to check in and get into the right lift to take me to the right floor where i have the key to open the right door. I've mentioned once that the great thing about life is that we are given options, where often we dont pick the correct one and or a promise to good end.  

Am I at the right lobby?


Ahmad Nurfarhi Rosley said...

Hey, what with gloomy entry? Ala everybody mesti ader downnyer kan, and mesti nanti dtg la ups nyer balik. :) I hope u getting better, and cheer up okay, everything would be just fine!... :)

anakemas said...

"Perhaps that is what scares me, that I'll become the exact person that I don't aspire to be."

Life for everybody starts with a journey. On this journey, we will get to understand who we are better. A lot of people start their journey not liking the places they visit along the way, but the point is the destination - if you set your eyes on where you want to go regardless of the crossroads and setbacks, you will get there eventually. How slow or fast you get there is dependant on how truly determined you are to get there.
And as long as you set your eyes on the prize, as long as you stay true to yourself, as long as you remain passionate, there is no reason for you to not be who you aspire to be.

So why wait in the lobby? Just go into any lift, stop on any floor and try any door. How are you going to know if you're opening the right door if you don't even get out of the lobby?

My reasoning is this: if you fear something, it's all the more reason to get up and do it. If you don't tackle that fear, you're just going to be afraid for a very very long time.

Much love and hugs,

Syuke A. said...

thanks Ziz, will bear all that in mind. :)

Efarojie said...

Being a scorpio, i can somehow realte to your stories. I used to act according to the situation or if i could put it as "follow with the flow". But as i get older and after a few ordeals that i ran through, i somehow agree to what aziz has said.So, dont wait at the lobby for that shining armor person to invite to the right door when u can always find it by urslef. i believe that u can do it if you want to.


jasmdea said...

"My close friends would know that Im not the type that 'plans'.. they hate that about me but i do understand that spontaneity can looses it charms too."

Syuke! That explains you. And because that's you, we love and care about you always. We are in the same shoes but only with different agenda. Trust me! Like you always say to me. It just not happens yet! Miss you, Syuke!